Halina Jarowszewska is a leadership coach and strategic consultant at Smart Coaching & Training.
In this blog post, she talks communication. Is it just a one way street? OR….
In 1987 Deborah Tannen’s book ‘That’s not what I meant’ was published followed by in 1990 ‘You just don’t understand.’ Without doubt, Diane Abbott (Labour’s shadow Home Secretary) in her radio interview on May 2 that went belly up, may well be trying to say “not what I meant.” This was a very public example, of when communication conveys completely the oppositely desired impression. A good example of the unintended having far reaching consequences.
Communication (Latin commūnicāre, meaning “to share”) is the act of conveying intended meanings from one entity or group to another through the use of mutually understood signs and semiotic rules – voice , non-verbal signals, gestures, facial expression, body language, voice tone, appearance. Keith Richards, quoted in Rolling Stone in 1994; “It’s body language, eye contact, the grinning, the little signals that go on between people”. Winnie the Pooh commented that “Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That’s the problem.” It’s the interaction, the sharing that makes communication effective, the two-way street.
When employers were surveyed by Association of Graduate Recruiters ‘Skills for Graduates in 21st Century www.agr.org.uk 64% identified Communication Skills as the second in ‘Top 10’ skills shortages among graduates. Richard Branson advises to listen more than we talk. Verbal communication skills are ranked first among job candidates ‘must have’ skills and qualities according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers 2016 survey.
Try these 10 Top Tips to see what happens:
- Use questions that show you are genuinely curious to find out more about the other person
- Use ‘you’ rather than ‘I’
- Ask what are the most effective and least effective ways to communicate*
- Let people know how you prefer to be communicated with and what really turns you off
- Work out how you can adjust your preferences to make it easier for others to communicate with you
- Listen rather than getting ready to reply
- Count to 10 in your head before replying
- Reply to what has been said, rather than what you want to say
- Use and observe all means of communication
- Be clear with what you say, check that you have been understood
What top tip would you share?
* C-me Colour Preference Profiling Report gives an excellent summary of your most effective and least effective ways to communicate. To find out more click here: www.smartcoachingtraining.co.uk/what_we_offer/c-me-colour-profiling
If you would like to strike up a conversation, email me: halinaj@smartcoachingtraining.co.uk
